Dating or Desserts?

                  DATING OR DESSERTS? 

                                     by

                      Janiel Mae Lopez 

 The weirdest dream of my entire life is to feel skin-to-skin contact with someone I never even met, but I did have a crush on. Like, what kind of delusion is that? Is it another dimension, like the 5D meeting in a different timeline?

 I just don't know anymore. But I was listening to a kundalini third eye sound frequency before I fell asleep. It was a real trip, alright. Meeting in dreams seems enough to stop my delusional, faraway kind of crush. I even dreamt about fighting with them like for real? Haha, kinda cute, 

but again, gonna stop that delulu train because that is too much even for me. So I need to focus. Focus on me. My health. My art. My savings. My exploration. And my spirituality. That's it, no more I wonder blah blah. I would rather focus on what I see and I shall get. And dating in Korea sucks. tried it and never ever again. Like everything is too fast. People need to chill. 

 Can I just imagine a person and a genie will appear and grant my wish? Of course not.

Nobody is perfect, but if someone is not energetically aligned with me or they are weird about what I like,. I take notes and be like, Ok, not gonna happen. It's not about the looks really, but the personality and authenticity are so hard to find. Like, tell me something weird. what you did last summer, etc. I don't care if you can afford this and that. I want to know how you got that scar. Did it hurt, kind of thing? I give up. Hahaha. kinda funny when I think about my experiences, when people, suggest a casual relationship, I'll be like, "You mean just friendship, right? (inside my mind, I'm like, Hell to the no.)

  This is such a good plot hahah im just gonna enjoy this scene hahaha.

the last date i went was so funny and i wore my fake lip piercing and i got questioned if I was a dog or something. Excuse me? you don't know fashion? or style i have to educate someone so i'm not super offended hahahaha. After that i gave the most friendly vibe i could muster like i can be your travel buddy that's it the end. And i got ghosted but i did get a free serum from olive young that the person insisted to pay so weird hahaha.

Still a funny cause A. i'm not into casual dating B. I'm not into fast transition of everything relationship based ( like how can you hold hands with someone you don't trust? )  it's a skin to skin and germ to germ contact. It needs to be special yeah.

I watched too much crime/murder mystery documentaries just to trust just anyone.

I'm stephanie soo fan right here haha.

and what i realized obviously in my fbi based body language that i learned from a book. They had that look when they looked at me and it was " this girl doesn't need me" the hell i don't. If i'm gonna date someone i have to want you. Because i can't need a person that is a co-dependancy disaster.

A need is such a rush feeling and always ends up not thinking about the pros and cons

but a want is that you already know the pros and cons and no matter what the outcome you still want it. And a want is a slow process of denial and acceptance.

A need feels like an addiction co relates to shopping per say you saw something cute and you feel like you need it because everybody has it and you don't want to get left behind. And when u have it and spend amount of time with it and realize you don't really want that.

But a want oh boy its like buying that dubai chocolate cookies that i can't stop thinking about for days. Like should i eat it with plain americano or with my special coconut latte. It's a never ending possibility. You want to do everything and anything with it. And even if i already got that dubai chocolate cookie i still want more and can't wait to have it again.

so maybe i should just date my cookies and explore different flavors it can offer haha. I could never regret having a good dessert after a very tiring week. good heavens i can still taste the crunch and the nutty flavor bursting into my mouth that blends with chocolate and the moist in the inside cookie. HEAVEN! My TikTok FYP is full of cookie mukbangs, and I'm so happy about it, really. I do wish I could bake, or I had an oven with me so I could learn, but I've been researching, and I have a new mission to try every cookie bakery in Seoul! Another side quest from this RPG game called life.

hahahaha At this point I would rather want a cookie. 

I honestly suggest have a dessert first before trying to date again.